Love Beyond Boundaries: Joey and Evan’s Wedding in Sicily

Location: Noto, Sicily, Italy
Setting: Luxury countryside boutique hotel
Wedding season: Early Fall
How long did the couple plan the event: 12 months
The number of guests: 90
Wedding theme/style: 1960s Italian cinema and LGBTQIA+ history

Joey and Evan met online, swiping right on a beautiful Sunday morning in April 2014. Instead of doing the typical “let’s get drinks later that week,” they decided to meet up that afternoon. They got iced coffees and walked along the High Line for a few hours, then had a glass of wine on the rooftop of Joey’s Chelsea apartment.

The lovebirds’ engagement story was a stylish and romantic statement! Evan came back to Los Angeles from a work trip to see Joey standing in a tuxedo, surrounded by hundreds of roses and candles. (Evan’s first thought was, “are we having a party I didn’t know about?”)

Joey led Evan to the end of the hallway, where there was a big box that said “put me on” – inside, a Tom Ford leather jacket, because Joey knew that Evan did not want a diamond ring (and like a diamond, a good leather jacket is forever). Once Evan put the jacket on, Joey got down on one knee with an engagement band inscribed in his own handwriting. And he said yes!

It’s important to express what a wedding means to them.

The privilege to declare their love for each other in front of their closest friends and family was not something they took for granted. Growing up in 1990s America, they truly didn’t know if this was in the cards for them – at the time, same-sex marriage wasn’t an option. But because of the tireless work of the brave LGBTQ people (and allies) who came before them, some who had to live closeted lives, most who never even dreamed this was possible, they got to experience this profound and beautiful ritual of declaring their love and commitment to each other in front of their family – both biological and chosen – the people who had lifted them up, nurtured them and their love, and helped keep them safe.

“To us, marriage means continuing to grow together and to build a beautiful, perfectly imperfect queer life together. To continue challenging each other, to show each other love through actions as well as words and feelings, to make each other laugh every day, and to continue breaking down our own and each other’s walls.”

Their love for family and friends was top of the mind as they started planning the wedding. The couple wanted to create a memorable experience for them, one they could cherish forever.

Initially, Joey and Evan envisioned a more traditional, larger celebration, but the pandemic put a halt to their plans. They toyed with the idea of a small gathering at their Los Angeles home, just for immediate family. However, with the rollout of vaccines and the gradual return to normalcy, they revisited their priorities and decided that the dream was to have a small wedding in Italy.

During the pandemic, they were doing some backyard renovations and stumbled upon a photo of a rustic blue chair on Pinterest. A reverse Google image search led them to a venue – Dimora delle Balze in Sicily.

In October of 2021, they visited Dimora and were immediately taken with its understated elegance. The venue’s unique blend of sophisticated and traditional elements, coupled with its idyllic location close to nature, made it feel like it was frozen in time. Life seemed to move a little slower there, making it the perfect setting for a weekend filled with memories.

Dimora delle Balze was the perfect canvas, one that allowed them to imagine and bring to life an experience for their friends and family.

One of the most memorable from a wedding was the Friday night Welcome Dinner at Anche Gli Angeli. In the heart of Noto it was the first time all of their guests had arrived and were congregating in one place. It was so special to them to watch all these people, from all different parts of their lives, mixing together and spilling out onto the streets of Noto, laughing and chatting under the warm glow of the streetlights amidst centuries-old buildings.

Joey and Evan wanted to show their appreciation for their guests who had traveled far to celebrate with them, and to give them gifts that would not only be useful during their travels but also serve as a lasting memento of the experience. They collaborated with Joey’s sister, the talented artist Carly Kuhn, to design tote bags featuring a sketch of some columns and a breakfast table found on the Dimora property. They also created custom hats with Ida’s sketch of the Dimora tower on the front, and “Sicilia” inscribed on the back.

As a tribute to LGBTQ+ community, and to the idea of creating inclusive worlds, the couple carefully selected five different book titles with queer characters and themes – The Great Believers, Less, Angels in America, The House in the Cerulean Sea, and The Talented Mr. Ripley – and personally assigned a book to each guest.

Joey wore head-to-toe Saint Laurent, including an ivory dinner jacket over a cream-knit tank top, black tux pants, and black leather Chelsea boots with a bit of a heel. One of their best friends, Alissa Matkovich, who is a private jeweler (STACKED by Reservoir) lent Joey a rose gold and dusty rose pearl necklace that he wore as a bracelet for his “something borrowed.”

Evan donned a meticulously tailored, custom-made two-piece set by Dzojchen crafted from a luxurious blend of black cashmere and silk, complemented by a stylish cream knit tank-top. Completing his ensemble were sleek Gucci black leather ankle boots. Evan wore a white gold chain necklace by Garland Collection.

For their engagement bands, Alissa helped Joey find the perfect option. They chose Lizzie Mandler white gold and yellow gold bands with an organic matte finish. Both bands were inscribed inside with their handwriting and two black diamonds. For their wedding bands, Jamie Camche of JL Rocks made them custom rose gold and white gold bands to wear alongside their engagement rings.

Joey and Evan took most of their inspiration from Sicily and the wedding venue itself. Dimora delle Balze was already so magical – from the cacti and olive trees, to the whitewashed stone courtyard and prostrate rosemary along the driveway. They wanted to enhance what was already there. They extended the vibe to their dress code, where they asked their guests to dress in “Dusty Neutrals” (in honor of their dog Dusty Rose) and any amount of casual or dressy they saw fit. Their friends and family turned it out in shades of blush, sage, lilac, creams, and whites. It really paid off, as everyone looked so gorgeous against the green rolling hills of the Sicilian countryside!

The couple got recommended to Ashley Smith and her team through Joey’s sister. Their portfolio of prior works was full of beautiful, timeless, and effortless weddings. It caught the lovebirds’ attention at once!

“Once we met Ashley in person, her vibe couldn’t be more perfect. She stood out from other planners – she was so down to earth, creative, and genuinely excited to collaborate. We loved her taste – it wasn’t fussy or “typical wedding,” it was both edgy and classic. She brought a level head and sense of ease that made the process as smooth as possible.

It’s an understatement to say that we couldn’t have done any of this without Ashley, Alexa, and the whole team. From design concept to details, from high level planning to execution – Ashley and her staff handled it all. We got to travel together, celebrate together, laugh together – and came out the other side real friends. Ashley and Alexa’s commitment to making experiences come to life is incredible. It was a real privilege to work with them.”

Reflecting on their wedding day, Joey and Evan felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for Ashley Smith and her team. They transformed their dreams into reality, surpassing all expectations and crafting an unforgettable celebration.

Their vision was to embrace the natural elements of the venue, allowing its beauty to come through. They wanted an organic look, for the guests to feel as though they were sitting in nature, with vines and flowers weaving their way through the chairs, as if the aisle had been sitting idle for months.

The centerpiece of the ceremony was the chuppah. The lovers chose a simple white sheet, adorned with local foliage. Joey and Evan wanted something that looked pure, untainted, natural, and unbreakable. They didn’t want it to look too feminine or too masculine, wanted something that felt balanced.

Joey and Evan walked down the aisle to Chet Baker’s version of “Somewhere over the Rainbow,” and recessed to Miles Davis’s version of “La Vie en Rose” – both played by the local Jazz band.

All three of their siblings – Carly Kuhn Matz, Jake Kuhn, and Dani O’Donnell – officiated the wedding together.

In lieu of the traditional Jewish seven blessings, they asked some of their friends to do seven readings. It was left up to them to choose the readings (or in some cases, their own writing), and they were asked to keep it secret from them until they read it aloud during the ceremony. The readings ranged from “Advice from a Friend” by Tony Kushner and “They have just said,” by Mary Oliver, to an original poem written for the occasion by their friend Aliza Neidich.

The couple wrote their own vows. Joey’s clocked in at a whopping 14 minutes.

Immediately following the ceremony, cocktail hour took place on the lawn on the south end of the property. They had passed Sicilian hor-d’oeuvres, and lots of great photo moments.

Fortunately, Dimora has an incredible restaurant, Lumìa, which handled all the food for dinner. All the dishes were modern Sicilian, from swordfish risotto to steak with local vegetables. Most of the food was grown on the property.

They prepared a sit-down dinner at a U-shaped table in Dimora’s courtyard. The couple didn’t want separate tables – they wanted all the guests to feel connected and contiguous. Throughout dinner, both sets of parents gave toasts. And toward the end of dinner, Joey’s father surprised the grooms with a song he wrote for the occasion.

For their wedding invitations, they were inspired by the work of queer artist Duane Michals, who was known for mixing handwritten text with his amazing black and white portraits. So they hand-wrote their invitation in the format of a story, and Ida helped lay it out under a photo of them to emulate the feeling of Michals’ work. For the programs and paper goods throughout the wedding, Ida also designed a little line drawing of Dimora’s tower that functioned as a pseudo logo all weekend long.

Joey and Evan wanted to honor the historical and ongoing struggle for LGBTQ+ liberation by incorporating subtle nods to queer history throughout their wedding. At the dance party, they opted for solid red lighting and a disco ball, reminiscent of underground gay nightlife – spaces where their community found acceptance and love against the backdrop of a world that was trying to undermine their freedom. And plus, everyone looks great under a red light!

Their first dance was to “My Song” by Labi Siffre, the same song that was playing when they got engaged:

“I may not always sing in tune
And sometimes you don’t hear me
But you don’t have to be near me
To know that I’m singing…
And I wonder if you really, really know
That as long as I live I will sing my song for you”

“Before our first dance, we decided on a whim to do an impromptu outfit change, slipping off our button-up suit shirt and dinner jacket simultaneously before slow-dancing in our matching cream tank tops and black pants. The combination of monochromatic red light, dance floor disco balls, and Labi Siffre’s “My Song” playing – a song about the authenticity, imperfect beauty, and transcendence of queer love – created a moment we’ll never forget”.

The cake was prepared by Dimora delle Balze’s in-house pastry chef, and very true to Sicilian cuisine – with tiny strawberries and pistachios. It was about 3’ in diameter, a traditional Italian wedding cake.