Counter-proposing is an exciting and empowering way to surprise your partner just as they surprised you while breaking away from traditional gender roles that place the proposal responsibility on one person. Even if your partner planned the perfect proposal, that doesn’t mean you can’t do the same. It’s a sweet and meaningful twist on the classic proposal, showing equality, shared excitement, and mutual commitment.
This idea has gained popularity within the LGBTQ+ community, where marriage rights have allowed for more inclusive and equal traditions, with both partners actively participating in the engagement. But now, even heterosexual couples are embracing double proposals. Whether the moment is simple or grand, the essence of a double proposal is the mutual expression of love and the lasting memory it creates.
“Why should only one partner get to experience the joy, love, thoughtfulness, and excitement of being proposed to? Let’s begin a new tradition of counter-proposing to your partner in a way that is tailored to their style, personality, and your love story! Remember, proposals and counter-proposals do not have to be over the top; they must be perfect for your partner. The heart and intentions matter the most,” says Jove Meyer, a wedding planner from New York City who recently embodied his own counter-proposal.
After four years together, Kyle Torrence surprised Jove Meyer with a Christmas proposal in Palm Springs, where their families met for the first time. Jove, a top wedding planner known for his creative ideas and joyful approach to life, had always envisioned that he would be the one to propose and had even begun planning it. So, when Kyle beat him to it, Jove was completely caught off guard. Kyle had arranged a beautiful event with their close friends and photographer Amber Gress and presented Jove with a stunning ring featuring nine diamonds of different shapes and colors.
“Little did I know that for the first time—and in one of the biggest moments of my life—I wouldn’t be the planner!” Jove recalls. “I was in complete shock, in the best way. But it only made me more determined to follow through with my proposal. As sweet as Kyle’s proposal was, I wanted him to experience the joy of being proposed to just as epically and to feel exactly how he made me feel. So, I got to work planning the perfect counter-proposal for him and started the day after Kyle proposed to me.” That same day, Jove ordered Kyle’s ring since Kyle had already told him which one he wanted. It gave Jove a tight deadline of six weeks to pull everything together.
Since Kyle is a trained opera singer, and his favorite spot in the city is The Metropolitan Opera, Jove knew that was the perfect place for the proposal. “We love going to the Met together, so for Valentine’s Day this year, I gifted him tickets to Romeo and Juliet and dinner at The Grand Tier. I even planned for us to attend the ‘Fridays Under 40’ pre-party, which worked perfectly as my cover story for the proposal.”
In this special episode of the “Weddings-ish with Jove” podcast, all about joy, love, and weddings, Jove welcomed his fiancé, Kyle, as a guest. Together, they shared their unique love story and the heartwarming details of their proposals. Whether you’re a romantic at heart, planning your own proposal, or just love hearing a great love story, this episode is a must-listen!
Jove teamed up with his close friend Melanie Milton, the producer of public programming at The Metropolitan Opera, to plan the surprise proposal. Since the Met doesn’t typically allow private proposals, she needed to get special approval. Jove was meticulous and attentive in his planning: “Once the date was set, I checked in with Kyle’s parents to make sure they could come in from out of state, and I also reached out to friends who couldn’t join for the proposal in Palm Springs. Then, I called his boss to ensure he wouldn’t be traveling for work so he’d be in the city that day.”
Jove also hired photographer Corbin Gurkin to capture the moment but introduced her to Kyle as the assistant tour guide so she could blend in without raising suspicion. Corbin even visited the opera house beforehand to check the lighting and scout the perfect spot. “At the end of the tour, when the guide asked if we wanted a photo, we agreed. It was the exact spot we had planned weeks earlier. That’s when I got down on one knee.”
At that moment, Kyle’s family and friends appeared from the floor above, surprising him with loud cheers and excitement! Afterward, they gathered for group photos in the lobby area, under the dazzling chandeliers and along the iconic curved staircase, enjoying the rare privilege of having the entire space to themselves before the Met Opera opened for that evening’s show. “It was such a special, once-in-a-lifetime moment to have The Metropolitan Opera private for our proposal!”
Jove took care of every detail down to their outfits, ensuring they’d both look incredible for such a unique moment. “Since the proposal was happening at The Metropolitan Opera, I knew I had to dress accordingly,” Jove says. “I reached out to my friend and designer Jackson Wiederhoeft, who kindly created an amazing outfit for me, complete with the most stunning feather pants and a ‘pop-the-question’ brooch!” Kyle, who loves dressing up for the opera, was told to dress to the nines for the evening as part of Jove’s clever cover story that they were attending the ‘Fridays Under 40’ pre-party and backstage tour before the show. Kyle arrived in a sleek Acne suit with Prada shoes and a matching Prada bag, while Jove’s bold peacock pants stole the show. Though they have different styles, Jove chose an all-black ensemble instead of his usual colorful flair, just for Kyle.
“After he said yes, we sat for dinner at The Grand Tier, toasted with champagne, and savored our meal before heading in to see the show —the most iconic love story ever!”
During dinner, they found out there was a chance to go on stage before the show began, and they jumped at the opportunity. “It was so incredible to stand on that stage, looking out at the empty auditorium, and just soak in the joy of the moment and everything that had just happened in this iconic place,” Jove recalls.
While your partner may have no clue about your intentions, keeping your counter-proposal a surprise is likely the most challenging part. Try to plan when your fiancé isn’t around, and tell as few people as possible. If you dream of a public proposal with family and friends nearby, it’s still possible without revealing the surprise. Instead of gathering everyone under the pretense of an engagement, consider timing your proposal around a special event or gathering where everyone will naturally be present. Take inspiration from Jove, who flawlessly pieced together every detail and created a believable cover story for his proposal in a meaningful and breathtaking location.
If your partner proposed with a ring, it’s fair to return the gesture. After Kyle proposed to Jove, he made things easy by letting Jove know exactly which ring he wanted. Kyle’s ring is made from 18k yellow gold, featuring two Asscher-cut diamonds that meet in the center. If your partner hasn’t dropped any hints, consider creating a custom jewelry piece or using a temporary ring for the counter-proposal. That way, you can design the final ring together to make sure it’s something they truly adore.
Whether you’re proposing at the Met Opera or another location, this moment is something you’ll both treasure forever. Just make sure it comes from the heart, like Jove, who made sure Kyle felt as special as he had during his own proposal.
PHOTOGRAPHER Corbin Gurkin | VENUE The Metropolitan Opera | ENGAGEMENT RING Seb Brown
